Dont use them at work or around children. Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? well, almost never! Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . I said you look fat in those pants. My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I got drunk. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? Usually, they know they didnt. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Dont worry, said the doc. "Make me one with everything." 2. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? No, but I wanted to save you the trouble of thinking for yourself. 40. What did the alien say to the flower bed? Why do people make end-of-the-world jokes like theres no tomorrow? Because it was a little horse. Knock Knock! Knock Knock. What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? But there are ways to counter it. Why did the chicken cross the road? What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Person . So whether youre dealing with a hater or just somebody whos generally uninterested, here are 14+ clean comebacks for who cares and nobody cares., Read next: 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! For fingering a minor. Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? Micro-waves. Its important to remember that not everyone wants to engage in constructive dialogue, and sometimes the best course of action is to ignore the comment and move on. They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already. The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. You can drop them off anywhere. Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); "Go to [site name]" "Open [site name]" Search in your apps or websites. According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" "Ouch! A crane! Every once in a while, we come across somebody who just doesnt seem to care about anything no matter what we say. She choked. Why did the student eat his homework? A happy uncle. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next! Never mind, it's over your head. I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it. Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. Privacy Policy. I always tell new hires, Dont think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.. 100+ Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At, 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up, 80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At, 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Dude, your dicks hanging out. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by. Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". Answer: Audi Question : What is the quickest way to speed . When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Sticker By plydia From $2.02 Seven Days without a pun makes one weak white T-Shirt Sticker By Newline store From $3.36 Forget About Princess I Want To Be A Zebra Sticker What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? 42. Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Why were they called the Dark Ages? Some are dead. 35) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. I don't think you should be happy. Sucka. Ivana fuck your brains out. My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. For more information, please see our How do you stop a bull from charging? You guys didn't like it. Knock Knock Whos there? The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. You spread its little legs. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind. Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. and our Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. 3. (Think trolls) "I stand corrected!" What did one wall say to the other? These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. Fuck you said who? A fun answer is to answer a completely different question to confuse the other person. 1. Why is history like a fruit cake? A deodor-ant. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Dont assume thats not a major incentive. Those are just contractions., Why the big pause? asks the bartender. Elementree school. Article continues below advertisement. Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. Broomates. Knock knock. What washes up on very small beaches? To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. What did the O say to the Q? Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love. That way it will never come for me. Good luck. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken. Because they're always stuffed. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Are you an adult? Whats 72? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. When When When When When When When. While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if its one of the, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), why did the chicken cross the road? jokes, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. You wait here. When did I ask. Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. messedupcole18 3 yr. ago. Two peanuts were walking down the street. Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. And funny in a way that like, opens your mind up even," says comedian Sean Patton. Should You Be Rude to Comments Like These? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. 27. The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. However, its not always rude. A deodor-ant. Everyone loves a good crowd-pleaserthat's why we call them that! Do you love hearing jokes? The German replies, "Nein, just one.". Dont worryweve explained each one, so you can still wow em with your humor and smarts. We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience. Aye matey. I took a poop in the elevator. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. Banana Jokes. Ones pretty heavy and the others a little lighter. Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? 41. You planet. A chicken sees a salad. Waiter! What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost? Me loving a good discussion ended up having a long disussion over the communists and now he and many others in our group believe i am a borderline nazi. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. Cookie Notice When you die, what part of the body dies last? 2. Oh, I didnt tell you? What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. What do you call a zen master in charge of snacks? In fact, it could make things worse by escalating the situation and giving the troll more attention. Me: *to the person I was talking to* They lift them up and slam them on the ground. We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep thats got to be the ultimate rejection. 32. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Beano Jokes Team. 4. Funny responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like at a party or during a conversation with friends. Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. Mississippi. Whether you want to receive further information on something or want to ask a question or maybe have a suggestion for us to improve content on this website, or probably you wish to report a . Whos there? The difference between Ooooooh and Aaaaaah is about three inches. These office jokes are so funny, they'll make your day better or at least they'll take you away from what you're working on for a few minutes. He kept leaving little messages around the house. What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? He was deadlifting. Now that youve cackled your way through these clever jokes, get your little ones in on the fun with these short jokes for kids. Why do bees have sticky hair? 0 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BriannaPlayz: Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! Knock Knock! "That . 10. A pig in a hot tub. Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? If you dont believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. Why don't chickens play baseball? We recommend our users to update the browser. The man. Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. 2. I'm a helicopter! Viper07__ 3 yr. ago. No, you did not, but everyone makes mistakes. * No, but this is more stupid than anything I might have said. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. Unless youre just fed up with these types of comments and want to be rude. What do you call a pig that does karate? Because every play has a cast. A slipper. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didnt have time. Be careful, with them: Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: There are so many jokes about dicks that we couldnt add them all to this list. Tap To Copy. Would you like to dance? To get to the other side. I can totally keep secrets. Why do cows have bells? He only comes once a year. When do we want them? How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? 45. Cookie Notice But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. Not to mention, it can also keep the kids busy while you're busy. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. Three guys go on a ski trip together. What did the dog say when it sat on some sandpaper? 3. The bartender says, "Why the long face?". Here are some witty comebacks to Did I ask?: The best response to did I ask is to remain calm and try not to overreact. This response is very clever because it makes it very clear that you contributed helpful information. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. Not being a retard. No, but I could tell you needed my help. What did the grape do when it was sat on? } What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? What's E.T. 86 Funny Why Did The. * No, you didn't. What's your point? She wanted it in case she had to draw blood. But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered.